Context: Manager who is convinced her employees are getting better benefits than she is (they aren’t, but should), and who believes everyone in HR is out to screw her (we aren’t, but we would like her to go away). These attitudes are in large part responsible for the highest departmental employee turnover rate in our company.

Compliment: You know B, you are very diligent about the application of our policies and procedures as they apply to you and your employees. Your diligence has clarified for your employees exactly how policies are applied to their employment here and what benefits they are eligible for, both things that are important to the positive employment experience we want each of our employees to have.

My compliment:
I admire your ability to get the CEO’s attention to speed up projects you’re working on or to kill other projects that you consider a waste of time.
You’re very good at saving time by ignoring the processes I’m responsible for. This really pisses me off because it means more headaches for me and wasted time to clean up behind you, but I do respect skill when I see it.

What’s funny is that I wouldn’t want to work with this person again, but it’s always nice to meet him outside of work as he’s witty and the topics we discuss are usually very interesting.

@JT
This was my answer to the challenge. What about you

“Jeremy, the client was transfixed by your presentation. Your speech really brought the room to a standstill, and when you leaned in toward the VP to make that final point, she got a whiff of what you were made of. Way to be yourself! You really stuck to your guns and I don’t think they’ll soon forget it.”

@gin
Were you afraid I would make you a compliment, so you took preemptive measures

But then it’s not only HR which has to deal with “difficult” people. Because before they finally come to HR, they come to IT. And I can tell you that we have hell of a hard time dealing with people. One of my suggestions was to train IT Support staff in Emotional Freedom Techniques or post-traumatic stress resolution (“How exactly did you learn about the fact that the email you sent out was not delivered? Can you describe how that reality came to you and which feelings you developed?”), I might pick that up when I can read mails again.

A good compliment can be like Judo – if you are under force and you can actually leverage that force in your favour, that’s quite powerful. A compliment is a good way to do that. “Your analysis is correct, it points out very well that we have missed that deadline. So what do you think needs to happen for us to be successful?” is a mean thing from the beginning to the end. Yes, he (or she) is probably right, yet can’t continue to prod you anymore but has to become cooperative straight away. Now to refuse and say “that’s your problem” is a big no-no which puts immediate discredit onto the person who complained..

@Rebecca – There was a guy I worked with years ago who I liked and always complimented but it seemed like he hated me. I found out later that he actually called a potential employer on my behalf (unsolicited, by the way) to recommend me for a job – which I got. So you just never know…

@Raphael – Your compliment made me laugh because I recently had to do a project with a team that had someone like that on it. She was always right about waiting things out too (ie. when we hadn’t received critical info or approval for next steps), but geez I hated how overly calm she was. I like your spin on it!

@HR Minion – I think you nailed it! Your compliment reminded me of a salesperson I managed years ago. He was a complete nightmare in the office and towards fellow staff members, but clients absolutely loved him. I never understood how he could be so in tune with our clients’ needs and treat them so nicely, only to come back to HQ and act like Scrooge (BEFORE he met the ghosts).

Again, thank you for kicking it off! Let’s hope we see some more soon…

So here is my compliment: I am impressed by the cleverness and creativity you have for resolving customer issues quickly, with empathy, and correctly the first time.

How’d I do?